Living Relatives

One day I was emailed by one of the popular family history sites to announce they were starting a new service to help trace living relatives.I logged on.Daddy was the eldest child of Eva and Frederick and would have been 88, if he was still alive, but as his sibling birth certificates revealed some of them were only in their 70's.Could any possibly still be alive?Luckily the brothers would not have changed their names, unless of course they were adopted.Having an unusual surname must help, surely it must be worth a try at 60pence a go. I typed in Corben and Bedfordshire no luck then oh! they're giving me another go I deleted Bedfordshire and quickly typed in Hampshire.Quess what ,only one name came up.Was it brother"X"?I wonder.I couldn't sleep,I was so excited.Had I hit the jackpot?By 5am I was awake and writing him a letter.I had his full postal address as what I'd searched had been the electoral role.I enclosed a photo of my Mummy and Daddy with us four children not long before Daddy died.A simple letter asking for help ,with a short questionnaire attached, asking things like,where were you born?what year?who were your parents and if you don't know do you know anyone who might.I asked for Daddy's photo back thinking that might appeal to them to contact.Within four days I had a reply by phone.No it wasn't Daddy's brother, but I later was able to prove that it was his son,of the same name.Wow!My first cousin communicated through his carer but I could hear my cousin's enthusiasm as he gave the carer instructions to write me a letter.Shortly afterwards the letter arrived, complete with some helpful details and our family photo.I was shortly contacted by his elder sister who said they had never had any relations until Evelyn's mother was found in recent years.Evelyn's mother had been found because the records of her being a nurse had proved helpful.This family,like us,knew nothing of the siblings or parents.Eva had given birth to this,possibly her last child ,in a workhouse.He was in a care home until he joined the services I believe.This anonymous brother is still alive and living in France with another son.He will not be told about his brothers, after all,as his daughter says, it is sad enough to grow up never knowing you have five siblings, without now knowing and never being able to perhaps find any left alive.However, I have contact with this first cousin and even though she lives in America I have met her and she has given me photos to treasure.I even had my photo taken with her.She looks very similar to my Daddy.Sadly her younger sister,who unknown to me lived 14 miles from me,died this year.It was very difficult to loose a cousin I had never even met.This is all part of finding another missing piece in the jigsaw.This bittersweet journey continues...

Going Japanese

I obtained the address of a first cousin,Evelyn.She is the daughter of my father's sister.As I've said before it's taken me until now to even know Daddy had a sister.I am not sure of her name but I understand that until just before she died she always thought she was an orphan.I have wept for her, it is very sad that she did not know about my Daddy.She may have been able to give him some of the love he so badly needed.I bet she could have done with a brotherly hug sometimes too.I want to respect my new family and do not want to overwhelm them so I am trying to take baby steps and not interrogate to find out information.This will take time.I hope we can meet one day and Evelyn has expressed a wish to and I believe this may be possible sooner rather than later.Evelyn is married to Kazuo,who is Japanese.They are both teachers and got their education in America.They live in Tokyo with their daughter,Nana,also a teacher,and their son Maho.Evelyn has very kindly sent me many photos which I shall always treasure as they mean so much to me and have made me very happy.Interestingly my brother,David is married to Yuki,who is also Japanese and lives part of the time in Tokyo too for her work committments.It is possible they can meet up and Yuki's house is called Corben House after our family name.When I went to my brother's home and showed him the photos of Nana and Maho at the local festival he told me he had been showing his son a similar photo of him and Yuki wearing the exact same kimonos before I arrived that morning.He keeps the photo in their kitchen on display.I find that absolutely fascinating,don't you.Evelyn says she has four brothers who live in Scotland and Cornwall.Oh what joy to know their names.These revelations have made me feel so happy.

The posh ones

One day I was contacted by Jeannie and she said she thought we must be related.She was right and as we shared the names on our trees we had found a link.Jeannie said we were both related to the Wilshere family.My ancester on my Dad's mum's side had married Louisa Wilshere.The Wilshere's could trace their ancestry back to RichardII when in 1523 a lease states the Wilshere family first lived at The Frythe,Welwyn.It is with thanks to a Jeffery Knaggs who worked on the estate in 1960-70s.that this information is available for me on the internet and I am thankful to him for having gathered the information together into a readable form.Over the following centuries the estate was handed down from Father to son-many of them being named William(Wilshere.) William Wilshere led the Herts Yeomanry when Napoleon threatened to invade.As Lord of the manor of nearby Great Wymondley, it was his right,at every coronation banquet, to present the sovereign with his first cup of wine.The goblet used at the coronation of GeorgeIV in 1821 has been handed down in the family ever since,but the custom itself has now lapsed.The Wilshere's also financed rebuilding work on St.Mary's Church in Welwyn.In 1881 the occupants of the Frythe were Charles W Wilshere ,his wife Elizabeth Marie(nee Farmer) and their three daughters,Edith E,Everilda F and Alice D Wilshere.The staff consisted of a butler,footman,hall-boy,under-groom,stable boy,housekeeper,cook,kitchen-maid,upper and under laundry-maids,upper,under and third housemaids,a still room maid and a ladies maid.Even more people staffed the lodge,cottages and a brickyard.Now I know why I like being waited on and enjoy what I can of the good life.As well as the Frythe the Wilshere family had seats and/or estates at Biggleswade,Bedfordshire;Shillington,Bedfordshire;Hitchin,Hertfordshire;Ippollitts,Hertfordshire and Welwyn,Hertfordshire.Jeannie had made my day introducing me to my ancesters who were landed proprietors and gentlewomen.I have arrived and it suits me perfectly thank you very much!

Uncle Reg

Recently I was contacted for the first time by a long-lost cousin,Sally,whose father was my Daddy's first cousin.I used to live in Hertfordshire nearby to her but never knew then.Sally is the same age as me and when she contacts me it makes me very happy.She seems a happy person too.I'm hoping when she's ready we can meet up.My sister remembered Sally's grandfather visiting before I was born.She also remembered that this man had a bad leg.When I mentioned this to Sally she confirmed that her grandfather had lost his leg in WW1.As he was my grandmother's brother it seems reasonable to believe that my Dad was named after his Uncle.Questions like... I wonder what they talked about when they met?...and how did Uncle Reg know where they lived?will probably never be answered.

Daddy's life with Mummy.

I don't know how they met, but they married on November 11th,1939 at Nevendon parish church in Essex and I think Dad's best man was Doug Samways.His partner Stella Davies and Joan King were Mum's bridesmaids.Joan was the daughter of my maternal grandmother's best friends Ethel and Clarence.Her siblings were Tony,Mabel and Jean.Jean used to cut my hair as a child and she trained at Teasy-Weasy Raymond in London.Mum carried a huge bouquet of real poppies.My maternal grandad was a military man and had been awarded a DCM for bravery in WW1 and he had them sent over from Flanders as it was Armistace day.When they married, my Mum,Jean was an air-raid patrol worker.My Dad,Reg was a regular soldier stationed in Manobier,Wales.He worked on Anti-aircraft in the Royal Artillery.In photos I can see his sergeant's stripes.My sister,Valerie was born in Wales and they lived with Mr.and Mrs.Ivor Brace in Jameston.At the end of 1940 with WW2 under way my mother brought her first born back to live with her mother because of the dangers.As she came through London she had to go for cover in air-raid shelters.My sister was a beautiful blue-eyed baby and Mummy said people stopped her and said "You shouldn't be down here with the baby."Over the next years as Daddy carried on as a soldier Mummy would only see Daddy when he was on leave but during the next eight years Mummy had another three children,Jonathan Victor,David Terence Reginald and myself,Madeleine Helen.They both worked hard to provide for us.

The New Forest

Fred Corben(my Great Grandfather)was born in Poulner,Ringwood,Hampshire.His father's name was Willett and his mother's was Eliza Small.Willett was an Agricultural Labourer and I feel he must have been a good,hard worker as he managed to stay in work,helping build the local railway too, in the same area for many years.When Willett married Eliza at Ringwood parish church in August 1845 she signed her name with a cross.However,this did not stop her being a self-employed laundress with two staff.Edwin,their grandson,a scholar, lived with them too.I later found out that his dear mother,Julia, had died when he was just an infant.Well done Willett and Eliza!I believe they lived at the Old Laundry Cottage,No.12 Christchurch Road.This is a lovely old pink painted thatch.Willett and Eliza would have worked incredibly hard to support their growing family all living in one room.There would be no room for tantrums..As well as Fred,his siblings were Julia,Thomas,Sebina (was she beautiful with long raven hair?.....I bet she was wooed by the many labourers at Ringwood fair.) and young Willett who broke the ag.lab. mould and moved to Southwark, London and married Emma Butcher and earnt the King's shilling as a Mariner.For some reason I have deep respect and affection for old Great/Great Grandad Willett.He sadly ended his days in the workhouse in Verwood Road,Ashley at aged 79 years.He deserved to have a smile on his face.

Fred's roots

Frederick James Corben(my paternal grandfather)was born in Barber's Piles in Poole,Dorset.We found out where that used to be and now there's a smart block of flat's on the corner by the Quayside.On the wrought iron entrance gates the initials BW stand for Barber's Wharf.It's a quaint area with lots of pubs.It's not difficult to imagine what it would have been like in the late 1800s when Fred was a small boy.Fred's Mum was Mary Kate Fitzgerald from County Clare in Ireland and she was a self-employed Dressmaker.Dad was also called Fred and was a Gamekeeper.He worked in Avon in Ringwood,Hampshire and also lived and worked on Brownsea Island which is a short ferry ride from where Frederick James was born.I have researched Gamekeeping and life on Brownsea Island with abundant red squirrels amongst all the beautiful flora and fauna life must have been wonderful.My father and my siblings and I have all been great lovers of fresh air and gardens.Later they all moved up to Hatfield in Hertfordshire and the early years before WW1 are still to be researched.Fred had siblings Gerald Percival,Charles Nevil,Kathleen Marie,Julia Annie and Irene Alice Corben.Frederick James married Eva in St.Alban's Catholic church in December 1916.How I'd love to see a photo.

Eva's roots

Daddy's Mother Eva was born in Whitwell,near Hitchin,in Hertfordshire to Ann Eliza(nee Arnold) and William Charles Gray.Grandad was known as Charles and was a Police Constable in Ickleford and Luton.When he was stationed at Luton he wore a "Straw"Policeman's helmet in Summer.Luton and the surrounding areas were famous at the time for the cottage industry straw-plaiting for the hat trade.Charles later transferred to Cottered.Whilst visiting I saw the local "postman Pat" getting in his van after emptying the local Cottered village postbox.I rushed over from our car to catch him and ask if he'd ever heard of the road I'd found the family living at in the census as we couldn't find it.Not only did he willingly direct me to Stocking Lane but he drove ahead and waited for our car to catch up then pointed down an unmade road which led to a field with a small group of chalets in a small close.Thanks to this kind man we had found Eva's(my paternal Grandmother)childhood abode.It was amazing to stroll along the country lane and imagine my dear grandmother and her siblings Reginald,Mabel and Laura walking to the local school at the beginning of 1900.

The big search began

I didn't know what year my Dad was born even.I never knew my Grandparents names.I was born in Essex and I always thought Dad might have come from London.Mum was born in 1919 so I started searching the Births for 1919 in London, as that was all I had to go on.
After a couple of weeks of fruitless searches and tearing my hair out I saw, out of the corner of eye, my Dad's surname and the name Victor.Wow!I knew that was his brother's name , as we have an unusual surname,I sent off for the Birth Certificate.
When it arrived I then had Eva and Frederick's names.I said Hello to my Grandparents for the first time.
I started to learn abit about the theory of tracing ancesters to help me.I then knewI needed to speak to Valerie,my eldest sibling.Just shows it's worth doing things properly-she had a wonderful memory and photographs I'd never even seen.This made me so Happy!
I contacted my brothers Jonathan and David and about 8 years before they'd heard from a Tom,with the same surname, who whilst researching his own line had done some work on our direct family and found our Dad two more brothers,Frederick and Frank.My brothers had never got back to him, but although he'd moved,I managed to Google him.I contacted him in Massachusetts and he phoned and faxed me some certificates.Thank you so much Tom.
By this time I had found another brother Charles and had several relevant certificates.
I then found Reginald(my dear Dad.)Born 9th February,1918 in Luton,Bedfordshire.
My husband Bill knew just where the address on the Birth Certificate was as he'd past it every day on his way to work at a job he'd once relocated to.I knocked on the door and asked the family if I could take a photo.Aren't people wonderful! They showed me round the whole house and I even went in the bedroom where I believe my Dad was born.At the bottom of the bed was a Moses's basket- they were expecting a new baby anytime .It was such a happy family home with their two little sons running about.That day has given me true happiness beyond my expectations.

Getting the sad part out of the way for good

Daddy was put in an orphanage when he was a baby.This lady I knew as Nanny-up-the-smoke(she lived in Hackney in London)fostered him.He found out he had a brother,when he grew up,but he lost contact with him.Daddy committed suicide when he was 39.He went under a train.I was only 10 years old then.

How it all got started.

November 23rd 2006 17.00

In January this year I felt abit sorry fo myself.Being a typical Sagitarean optimist, by the next day I'd picked myself up and decided to try to turn the sadness, about my Dad's death, into something Happy!
I know, I thought,I could do what I'd seen the night before on the television and start to trace my Dad's ancesters.
It has been therapeutic and I am really enjoying the challenge.I now want to share this journey.